Shaking Hands

Yesterday, one of my colleagues at work wanted to shake my hand.  He’s a male.  Apparently a Muslim.

When he stuck his hand out and asked how I was, I raised my right hand to my heart and said “Alhamdulilah” with a smile.  Then he proceeded to call it rude, that I was being rude and impolite for NOT shaking his hand, that I was an American and should know what American customs are, that if someone sticks their hand out, be it male or female, that you SHOULD shake their hand.

lolwutbro?

Me?

A Muslimah shake the hand of a NON-mahram?

What is this blasphemy?

When the Prophet (saw) was taking oaths from women to convert to Islam, all He (saw) needed was their oath by mouth.  He (saw) never took the hand of a woman unless it were his immediate family members, his wives (may peace and blessings be upon them), and those of his right hand.

Proof:  Narrated ‘Urwa:  ‘Aisha told me, “Allah’s Apostle used to examine them according to this Verse:  “O you who believe!  When the believing women come to you, as emigrants test them…for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”  ‘Aisha said, “When any of them agreed to that condition, Allah’s Apostle would say to her, ‘I have accepted your pledge of allegiance.’  He would only say that, but, by Allah, he never touched the hand of any women (i.e. never shook hands with them) while taking the pledge of allegiance and he never took their pledge of allegiance except by his words (only).”
Bukhari, Book 3, Volume 50, Hadith 874 on Conditions.

Oh, and this one:  Umayma continued, “They said, ‘Allah and His Messenger are more merciful to us than ourselves.  Come, let us give our hands to you, Messenger of Allah!’  The Messenger of Allah (saw), said, ‘I do not shake hands with women.  My word to a hundred women is like my word to one woman.’”
Part of Malik, Book 55, Hadith 55.1.2.

What really makes you think, that you, a MUSLIM man, has a RIGHT to touch the hand of a woman?  And what makes you think, that I, a MUSLIM woman, has the RIGHT to touch the hand of a man who is not my husband/father/brother?  I don’t even care if hypothetically speaking, you are my superior, I’m not gonna’ shake your hand, bro!

Yeah, and he really did throw that hissy fit.  In public.  In front of my friend.

May Allah azza wa jal guide him.

Plural Marriage.

This is moreso addressed to Americans than anyone else because, well, that’s the only country that I have experienced extreme Islamic bias.

A lot of Americans complain that Muslim men are allowed four wives.  They also think that Muslim men are oppressing their wives by “making them wear hijab/niqab, long sleeves, modest clothing and forcing them to be housewives.”  But mostly, they complain about the four wives thing.

Have you Americans actually looked at the Bible?

You Christian Americans?

You Anglican, Catholic, non-denominational, Lutheran, Methodist, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, Presbyterian, Anabaptists, Baptists, Pentecostal, the list goes on Christians?

You Christians who just classify yourselves as “Christian”?

Your fantastic current faery tale book?

You know, the one that’s still being changed daily to fit your needs and wants so that they are fulfilled?

Have you seen some of the stories of how a lot of men married like…eighteen women or what’s his face married and had a little over 700 wives and concubines?

Okay, in America, there’s a certain group of devout religious people (I can’t remember if it’s a string of Mormons or what), who practise illegal plural marriages.  In the States. And these men marry MORE than four wives.  Pop out a bunch of kids.  The wives don’t work. They wear ugly dresses and hairstyles.  They’re not alowed to have jobs.  These men restrict their daughters to a very close-minded way of life and these men FORCE their daughters to marry older men.  They have no say as to who they marry.  They don’t have a voice in their own homes.  And a lot of these “sister wives”, as that one popular show is called, live together under one roof.  Which is a bit weird because it leads to competitions of being the husband’s favourite or who is better than who in what.

And yet, you don’t do jack about it.

You just want to “help” the “oppressed Muslim woman”.

Unlike those women, us Muslimahs actually work.  Have jobs.  Can drive, believe it or not.  A lot of us CHOSE to become muhajjabas and a lot of those same muhajjabas started wearing niqab.  And those niqab wearers AREN’T EVEN MARRIED OR COME FROM MUSLIM FAMILIES.  :O  We’re fulfilling an obligatory duty that Allah azza wa jal has prescribed for us as He (swt) has prescribed to the Sahabiyat (may peace and blessings be upon them all).  A lot of the Muslimah “house wives” CHOSE to become house wives.  Why?  Because it is better for them and as Muslimahs to stay at home, and take care of the house, WHILE THE HUSBAND IS AWAY.  Not to mention, it’s mentioned in ahadith and the Qur’an for women to protect the house and duties of the home while the husband is away.  It’s better for the children to be raised by mummy while the father is away fulfilling HIS obligations of providing for the needs of his family.  Some of these house wives work from home.  Like, making hijabs, niqabs, abayas, food, cutting hair, running an online business, running online magazines.  And guess what, THEY GET THEIR OWN INCOME!  :O

Saywut?

And in Muslim plural marriages, most Muslim women actually get their own home.  Own.  Home.  Self.  And they protect that home as part of their duty to their husband and to Islam.  And a lot of Muslim women involved in plural marriages are happy.  Haaaaaaaaaaaappy.

Granted, there ARE Muslim women who truly are oppressed and are forced to do things they don’t want to do.  But don’t categorise one oppressed group for a group that’s NOT oppressed.

And stop trying to downplay on this whole “plural marriage” gimmick.  Okay?  You think that’s nasty…look at your own Bible.  LOOK.  Really read.  I don’t care if it was like…2000+ years ago of written work, you read what it says.  Don’t tell me that today’s Bible doesn’t say all of that, because it does.

Respect it, don’t neglect it.

This has been an UNPOPULAR OPINION.  See that?!  OPINION.

I feel like tumblr peeps get taken aback when they find out I’m half Korean.

They be all…

OMGLOLWUT?  UR KOREANZZZZZZZZZZZ?

And I’m all…

Yeah bruh.

And they be all…

OMG, I’VE NEVER MET A KOREAN MUZLUUUUUUUUUUM.

And I’m all…

Baws.

And they be all…

ANYONGHASEYOZZZZZZZZZZZZ, THAT’S ALL THE KUREANNZ I KNOWZORS.

And I’m all…

Cute.

It’s annoying.  If you can’t speak Korean, don’t even attempt.  And yes.  I’m half Korean.  And a Muslim.  At a statistic showed that in 2002 or 03, there were an estimated 600,000 Muslims living South Korea, without the exception of Pakistani and Indonesian migrant workers.

Out of 4.8 million people.

Okay?

And I was born in Seoul.

Which is IN South Korea, if you have to be all, “WHICH KOREA, NORTH OR SOWF…HAR HAR HAR.”

That question isn’t funny, either.

The majority of Koreans you’re going to meet in life are from South Korea.  Get with the programme.

Sorta’ Rant: I will NEVER, EVER stand the sound of a child or children crying

Okay, I get it.

I’m a woman and everyone, EVERYONE tells me, “It’s going to be you one day and they are YOUR child or children.  You’re going to HAVE to like it.”

The woman pops out the baby.

You are now presented with crying, screaming, pooping life.

Awesome.

Two words, though:  crying and screaming.

And when they’re at terrible two, whining.

Um no.

I’ve put up with children crying, screaming, wailing, whining, fits, throwing themselves on the floor, purposely hurting themselves WHEN they throw themselves on the floor.

I get a huge migraine just hearing a newborn cry.

And even the cries of children ON TELEVISION drives me up the wall.

Okay, I’ll accept the crying and screaming.

But don’t ask me to like something that everyone else doesn’t like.

Are we on the straight, holmes?

Why is it when I talk about Rugby and Tae Kwon Do and Boxing and Muay Thai Kick Boxing, I get ridiculous stares?

Is it because I’m a woman and I’m not “supposed” to partake in these sports?

Or is it because I’m a woman and I’m not “supposed” to “understand” these things?

Bruv, you don’t understand.

I was totally kick ass when I grew up, starting at the age of 10.

Yo, if I could, I would so join a rugby team right now.  That was four years of my life right there.

Oh wait.

“Women who wear hijab don’t play sports.”

Okay.

Let me just explain something here, people

I do not follow EVERY single person who follows me.

SAYWUT?

No no, that’s true.

Some of my reasons is that the content of your blog is totes haraam.

Or I know what kind of character you are.  And honestly, I’m not going to follow someone who’s one way, and then completely “holy and righteous” or “nasty and dirty” the other way.  Not happenin’ brosef.  Or little Debbie.  :/  lolwut?

I don’t JUST follow Islam based blogs, either.  I like to keep it real, but I also like to keep it clean.  Yes, some blogs’ names are horrendously not kosher, but the content of their blog is clean as a whistle.

Oh, the cursing and derogatory racial comments or usage, such as the ever common word “nigger/nigga”.  Yeah, I don’t like it.  I don’t care if you, yourself, call yourself a “nig, niglet, nigger/nigga, chink, guk, Charlie, cracker, sand nigger” what have you, I see it, I’m unfollowing you/not following you.

I hope I’ve made this clear.  So clear, you can see the bottom of the lake.

Real talk.

Asalaam alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu.

Oh, you wanna’ come at me, bruh?

Go ahead.

This is why you were never my friend in the first place.

I’ma get at you.  Don’t you worry ‘bout that.  I will.

In regards to wewanttobe’s post about Syria

I, too, find it highly offensive to see pictues of people who have had serious injuries and dead bodies.

That’s like taking pictures at a funeral of the person in the casket (I’m speaking about the most common funerals that take place in the States).  I have seen pictures of my cousin’s cousin’s funeral and it was creepy beyond belief.

Not to mention, there were way too many pictures from Palestine, Egypt, Libya, and other places around the world of people with their heads blown off.

And a lot of us, unfortunately, has experienced seeing people die or have seen tragic accidents that have left people disfigured, or even dead.

Please, if you want to respect the people, don’t post their pictures.  They have a name, they had a family, they had friends, a home, a job, what have you.  Make du’a that they are in a better place and leave it at that.  We understand the situation in Syria amongst other places where high death rates are happening.  Just stop and save us the trouble, and the PTSD, of seeing these images.

Sorta’ Rant: To people who want to dabble in other’s pre-marital affairs

More like, when the talks are goin’ down, stay out of your friend’s way.

Their pre-marital affairs, and I mean this in the halaal way, is none of your concern.  However, you should be happy for your friend who is getting married, but you don’t need to know every single detail, or be talking about the brother or sister in the most degrading way as possible.

Unfortunately, this has happened to me and made me doubt my fiance several times because of this person’s interferance.

I understand if you’re the wali.  You have a right to be IN the business.  I mean, that’s sort of your job.

But if you’re a friend, and just a friend, stay out of it.  You make it harder for those who are trying to get married.  And putting doubt in your friend’s mind and heart is something that you should be ashamed of.

Seriously.

Allahu alim.

Sorta’ Rant: Reasons Why Dogs Suck

Other than why they’re haraam and how they can be halaal in some cases (such as being used as hunting and protection), I list you MY reasons why dogs suck.

Now, granted, as a kid, I grew up with having a dog in the home as the “family pet”, but in reality, it was my mum’s dog.  When she’s around, that dog is a demon.  When she wasn’t home, he’d be as nice as a teddy bear and then some to us.

I’m going to talk about my roommate’s dog and her ex-boyfriend’s dogs as the epitome of why dogs suck.

1.  The dog that lives in the bathroom is preventing me from making wudu correctly when I need to make salah.  Not only does she try to get all mushy mushy with me, but she’s constantly urinating on the floor, which in turn, I walk into the bathroom with shoes on.  Always.  Not to mention she tries to lick my legs.  Which, then in turn, invalidates my wudu.

Please, someone, give me advice for how I can make wudu without this little thing invalidating my wudu.

2.  When I take a shower, she pulls ALL of my clothes off of the sink area.  And the clothes rack.  I do not like this.

3.  Not only does this certain dog pee all over the bathroom floor, she poops.  And tracks in it.  Seriously gross.

4.  The OTHER dog likes to dig through the trash.  Inside.  And rips it to tiny little pieces.

5.  BOTH dogs bark incessantly at very different times of the day.  And for no reason whatsoever.

6.  The bathroom dog rips up her puppy pad to pieces.  Not only does it stick on her, it sticks to everything else.

7.  Fortunately, this didn’t happen to my car, but the other dog pooped all over the interior of my roommate’s car.  All.  Over.  As that was the story told me last night.

8.  Both dogs are incredibly stupid and very disobedient.  Which, in turn, causes me to not care enough to pick up after the dogs for they are not MY dogs nor did I buy the dogs with them NOR do I care enough about their well-beings.

9.  The very first month of me moving into the house, the dog brought in fleas.  Which in turn bit me, the roommate, the roommate’s boyfriend, and the children.  Awesome.  Thanks for the bite marks.  I will forever wear them.

And that, my tumblr peeps, is why dogs suck.

Sorta’ Rant: Filing for taxes for free, or wasting my time at an office and pay them my money?

File for taxes for free.

Just because you have a bankin’ job that pays you $80 an hour to file someone’s taxes, doesn’t give you the right to assume that EVERY single one of your friends HAS to come in for their stupid discount to file their taxes.

Bro, all I had to do was fill out a 1040 EZ.  That’s it.  Why would I waste my time coming into an office, pay x amount of dollars just so someone can look at my financial status and possibly chortle at how much I make, and YOU want to be mad about it?

Really?

Thanks for trying to make me feel guilty in not using your “Friends and family” discount.  I’m sure you have more than enough time to find one out of fifteen other friends and family to use that discount.  Don’t throw your guilt trip on me.  It ain’t gonna’ fly, gurlfran.  In fact, I’m laughing a little bit on the inside.  Just a little bit.  For how ridiculous you’re being over a 1040 EZ (which ain’t easy to begin with).  Enjoy making your $80 an hour while I’m trying to make it by on crappy minimum wage.

Thanks.

Sorta’ Rant: Pet Peeve

I really hate it when people say that we’re going to go do something, then just end up not replying to texts, calls, or just completely blowing me off altogether.

I understand if you’re in the middle of a crisis or just not feeling well, but a complimentary text of, “I’m not feeling well” or “something came up” would be nice.

I’m not going to be mad at you for being sick or mad at you because you have a crisis or issue to deal with.

But I AM going to be mad if you blew me off for something else and not bother to tell me.

Or that you just didn’t want to hang out for whatever pointless reason.

I get it, I’m not the best person or friend someone can ever have.  I do.  But don’t blatantly ignore me.  Tell me something so I can go back and change into my jammies or run my own errands or something.

Oh, and so I can end our friendship as well.

Thoughts and Sorta’ Rant: Why does it amaze people that other people from different races can speak a different language?

Back in my dad’s day when he was stationed in Korea, they had Korean translators called “katusas”.  These katusas would translate for the American soldiers in their company.  One of my dad’s katusas spoke German fluently.

My friend(s) from Saudi Arabia and Bahrain and Egypt and Iraq and Kuwait speak English fluently.

Moroccans can speak French fluently.

People around the world can speak any language fluently if they practise.

I don’t understand why it’s so weird when a Korean person speaks Arabic.  There’s that one Korean comedian who went to school in Saudi Arabia grew up in Amman, Jordan and can speak Arabic.  Fluently.

“Oh Mayada, it’s because he LIVED in Saudi Jordan.”

And your point being?

People in the States study French, German, Spanish, Italian, Mandarin Chinese and they have never been to the native language speaking countries.  And they’re fluent.

“They must have x people in their family who are of those descent.”

Quite possibly.  But it’s not always the case.

Stop being all amazed with people from other countries speaking a different language.  If they want to study it, they will learn it and become fluent.  If they want to be fluent, well then, that just means that they’re awesome.

Alhamdulilah.

Sorta’ Rant: An Apology

Sorry for being so “pretentious” about my religion.

In fact, did I not state that I just sit and smile when my co-workers wish me a “Merry Christmas?”

If you want to be passive/aggressive with this issue, please, go ahead.

It’s not going to stop my day.

I don’t go to every single person who wishes me a “Merry Christmas” to “fod off” or shout “Haraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam” in every way possible.  I smile.  And go on with my day.

How is that being disrespectful?

I can’t remind my fellow Muslimeen about why it’s a bid’ah?  I can’t talk about the origins of Christmas if I want to?

Do you know how many people call Christmas “Shirkmas”?  Regardless if they’re a Muslim or not?  I have friends who are non-religious and family members who call it Shirkmas because they say it’s very commercialised and rarely do they celebrate.  They do the whole gift giving deal, but no tree, no lights, no decorations.

So, why make what I said into a big deal?  I sit.  I smile.  I move on.  That’s not disrespectful at all.

What IS disrespectful is trying to be passive/aggressive towards me when you, yourself should come to me and at least ask me why I said these things.

Maybe then, I wouldn’t have to be passive/aggressive myself.

I’m going to work.

Sorta’ Rant: Fangirls to Korean Culture.

I like…

I don’t.

I don’t even know how to start this.

So, I was having a conversation with a wonderful sister on the book of Face and she’s talking about her friend and her “Korean-ness”.

Firstly, I don’t even know if this said friend is Korean or not.

Most likely not because it seems that these days, Fangirls of Kpop are white, or Mexican, or Black, or Thai, or Japanese, or Green, or Purple.

Whatever.

k, so like.

Stop calling Korean boys “oppa”.  They are not your “oppa”.  They are MY oppa’s.  We are Korean, we know each other, hence, he can call me noona, and I can call him oppa.  Or nondongsang.

Whoever is older.

Secondly, don’t just spit around your two cent Korean. Okay?  If you’re learning Korean, AWESOME.  But if you just know your “annyong haseyos” and “eediwabahs” and “bibimbop” and “bulgolgi” or “oomee” or any other “cutesy” Korean words and phrases, just stop!

Holy.

Wow.

I mean, I had to live with this for almost 16 years of my life, cause like…I didn’t know how to speak at all when I was a newborn…or form proper sentences at 3…or understand this Kpop fandom when I was 7.

And stop stalking Korean people!

That is super creepy.  Not only is it creepy to call a Korean boy “oppa” who isn’t even related to your race, but it’s even creepier when you drip Korean fan girl-ness on us like we KNOW about Korean culture.

A lot of us grew up as Americans.  Which means a lot of us don’t know crap about Korean culture.  I just know about the Korean War and rural Korea.  ‘cause like, I’m old skool.

But don’t be all, “OMG, WHAT ABOUT H.O.T?!  DID YOU LIKE THEM?  AND WONDER GIRLS!  AND B.O.A.!  AND AND AND…CAN I COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE?  DO YOU THINK YOUR OMA WILL MAKE ME FEWDS?  CAN SHE TEACH ME KOREAN?  DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR HAMBUK?”

No.  No.  No.  No.  NO.  NO.  MY MOMMY NOT YOURS.  NO NO NOIOADFDSKLFJ;ADSIKLFJ

No.

Okay?!

The Japanese already get it bad enough that there are anime otaku furry fans all over their…mokdi buns.  lolwut?

Don’t make it worse for us Koreans.

Leave us in peace.